loljjesus

Dark Chocolate Pasta

Tried this unusual dish today! The pasta is sweet and tastes quite distinctly of dark chocolate.

I made it with a white sauce flavored with vanilla bean and instant espresso powder, but honestly I think it would be better made with mashed strawberries warmed with a little sugar. I'm going to try that tomorrow, maybe with some shaved white chocolate so it will look like Parmesan Cheese.

Definitely a Hot Mess Sundae, but a delicious one!

Coworkers with God

I’m talking about Eckanar. The name apparently means, "coworker with God".

There is a guy on my local public access TV station who I fear is suffering from a major mental illness of some sort. He basically says, “the light and sound of God,” over and over and over for the entire program. I’m serious. I guess he didn’t read the Wikipedia entry that says they don’t proselytize.

This prompted me to look into this religion. It seems to be some sort of New Age group formed in the 60s.

Basically they seem to believe in soul travel, planes of existence, yadda yadda. I think they believe their teachings originate with aliens. Yawn. Mixed in are some random teachings from Indian religions. Yawn again.

One of its leaders was named Darwin, hahaha, irony. He was apparently asked to step down from his position and now is an outspoken former member, though he has been accused of misappropriating Eckankar funds.

I wonder what it's like to be God's coworker. I'll bet he never steals your lunch from the fridge or turns the AC too low, but it's a bitch to compete with Him for promotions.

Why are fundies so often anti-environmentalists?

I've noticed Xian extremists tend to think destroying other species and the Earth is a good thing, kind of like exercising our right to be oh-so-superior to everyone and everything else.

I've never seen anything in the Bible that even suggests this.

Case in point:

"Let me introduce "us". The "us" consists of my husband Walt (a Numismatist who lends a hand to help when he can) and myself (Wendy) and our thirteen children.

Children truly are a blessing from the Lord. When we cooperate with the Lord and allow new life to be created, we have actually given our Lord a gift, too...another soul for eternity! How awesome is that?!

We also home educate and live a simple life on our farm...raising chickens, cows, organic and hydroponic gardening, all that kind of simple and fun stuff. Connecting with nature connects us with God. Don't worry, you won't find us hugging trees...we worship the CREATOR not the creation! Just good ol' Simple Catholic Living.

I was also wondering--what's up with Incorrect Capitalization AND ALL CAPS And Exclamation Points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and the having 48 children?

Pimping the Pledge of Allegiance

I recently heard of a radio station who is getting paid sponsorship for the Pledge of Allegiance at one of their events. They are actually going to do the Pledge and say it's sponsored by whomever.

I find this totally gross.

What do you think?

Malignant Impatience

For example: Yesterday while crossing a busy, cramped parking lot, my friend and I wisely paused for 1.5 seconds to ensure a driver who was backing up saw us. With nowhere to stand during this ginormous 1.5 second interlude, we rudely blocked access to an open spot by another driver who was waiting for it.

He sarcastically yelled, "TAKE YOUR TIME! NO RUSH OR ANYTHING," a tongue lashing we surely deserved.

So srsly, if someone's life is so terrible that a 1.5 second delay is cause to raise blood pressure and voices, well, I guess he needs a new life. Sorely.

Many a time, if I delay gunning the engine for more than a half a second when the light turns green, I'm treated to the same dialogue, along with angry honking of the horn.

Is it just New Yorkers who are like this?

Cool Charity

Yoga Bear is a volunteer based non-profit 501(c)(3) that incorporated in December 2006 in San Francisco and now operates in 22 states throughout the US. Yoga Bear supports the belief that cancer patients and survivors can benefit from yoga as a complementary treatment in cancer recovery. Dedicated to providing patients and survivors with more opportunities for wellness and healing, Yoga Bear matches them with local yoga classes free of charge.


Since its founding, Yoga Bear has expanded to connect hundreds cancer patients and survivors with more than 140 partner yoga studios across the nation. Yoga Bear also provides on-site yoga classes in hospitals (Kaiser, Maimonides, and Mt. Sinai), cancer centers, and support groups such as The American Cancer Society and the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

Yoga Bear is creating a supportive community for its constituents by being devoted to issues concerning quality of life for cancer survivors. Providing yoga instruction to those with a limited income due to treatment costs is Yoga Bear's top priority.

Blogging For a Cause

Supercalifragalistic Bowel Prep!

We'll be bringing you today's post after this brief Public Service Announcement.

Colon screening saves lives and saves money. That's right--precancerous cells can be detected and removed during colon screening tests, thus preventing them from turning into Cancer! If you are aged 50 or above, or your doctor recommends you have colon screening due to various high risk conditions, DO IT! It's really, really not that bad......as long as you know the inside scoop.

So here's the inside scoop (or should I say poop?)!

After doing pre-procedure bowel preparation regimes a few times, a lady learns a few tricks. In this case, these tricks make the difference between Hell on Wheels and a mild inconvenience. (Of course this is all pretty subjective, but here it is FWIW. And make sure you run all this by your doctor and follow his/her recommendations.)

Shopping list:

Ginger herb tea

Peppermint herb tea

Clear liquids (low-sodium broths, juices, sodas)

Baby wipes with aloe (1 box of 72 oughta do it)

2 pairs comfy, warm ankle socks that don’t fall off when you turn over in bed

Stretchy pants

Super-comfortable bra, if you wear one (sports bra perhaps)

Comfy shirt and zip-style sweatshirt (hoodie)

Reading material for the waiting room

Pitcher for ice water

Soft, low-fiber foods/snacks

Peanut butter

Pico-Salax

Anti-nausea medication (without red coloring)

5 days before: Stop eating all red or purple foods/drinks, nuts, and seeds.

2 days before: Eat soft, low-fiber foods. Have a late night high-protein snack. Drink plenty of fluids, get a little exercise, stretch, and take a hot bath.

Pack your procedure bag. Bring your reading material, a pillow/blanket for the car, a plastic bag and towel (just in case you vomit), the address of your destination, a spoon and peanut butter for a quick protein jolt afterwards.

Set out your outfit for procedure day as well. I find the procedure rooms to be ice cold, but you can wear your socks and top under your gown. That's why I wear something long-sleeved. I wear stretchy pants because it's much more comfortable if you need to slouch in the car on the way home.

1 day before: Take anti-nausea pills as directed (make sure there’s no red dye in them). Fill a pitcher with ice water. Put your Baby Wipes in the bathroom. Get a piece of paper and pen. Make a chart, each row being the hours between 8 am and bedtime and label columns: Pico-Salax, liquids, anti-nausea medication. Record your activities to make sure you are following the regime recommended by your doctor.

Get blankets ready as you might feel really chilly once you take the solution. From now on when you go to the bathroom, use the Baby Wipes, even if you don’t think it’s necessary. Believe me, you’ll thank me later.

Light some candles in the bathroom to pretend you’re giving yourself a nice spa treatment. It also helps with the odor. ;)

Keep your pitcher with ice water nearby so you don’t have to keep running to the fridge.

Take Pico-Salax—the directions on my package said to drink 1 sachet dissolved in 5 oz. of water, at 8 am, and repeat at 2 pm. This is actually a pleasant tasting drink reminiscent of orange Tang. It is made with citric acid and sugar but doesn’t have an orange color. (My physician commented that the bowel was well prepped.)

Serve it over ice in a Martini glass with a tiny paper umbrella. Wear your sunglasses and pretend you’re on the deck of a cruise ship enjoying a Pina Colada. ;)

Drink clear liquids as directed. Don’t go overboard with juices and sodas; the sugar overload can add to nausea. Stick to water, a little clear broth, and herb teas. Even if you’re not into herb tea, I highly recommend peppermint tea and ginger tea—great for nausea and not terribly bad tasting. I tend to steep it much longer than the directions say so it’s not too bland.

Broths—make sure there’s no red or purple stuff in them. You can strain them over 5 coffee filters if you’re not sure they’re clear enough.

Take naps often. ;)

Procedure day: Drink as many liquids as permitted. If you tend to be nauseated after anesthesia, ask for anti-nausea medication in your IV.

Afterwards I recommend not sitting up until you’ve farted a generous amount (about half a dozen times or so). I did that once and apparently I trapped the gas in my abdomen. I was in excruciating pain in the middle of the night. To do the procedure, air is actually pumped into your colon to inflate it. You have to get it out afterwards or you’ll be in terrible pain.

Relax as much as you can. The worst part is the prep. The procedure is easy peasy.

Good luck!